Life Changes

Once upon a time there was a little girl that loved to live and travel around Germany. She had the opportunity to do this thanks to her Dad being a Soldier in the U.S. Army. (Hooah!) Because of this fact they lived in Germany in several different locations, to include Frankfurt, Fulda and Stuttgart. There were other places, but they were very small, and they didn't live there long.
The last time they lived in Germany she was 16 years old. Her Dad had the opportunity to retire and get out of the rat race. He asked her if it was okay if he did, it would mean they would be leaving Germany in the middle of her Junior year in high school. She didn't think twice about it, how could she? Although, she didn't really want to leave - ever, she knew it was something she couldn't say no to. She felt honored though, after all how many teens are asked by their parents if it's okay if they retire, move and change their lives? She guessed very few. She knew saying no was not really an option, Dad wasn't happy anymore, and it was time to go home. So, she began to pack her bags, boxes and prepare to say good-bye to all of her friends. She looked back on all of the moves she had made in her lifetime as a military dependant and came to realization that she had moved, (packed and moved), at least 19 times in her 16 years of life, and she had just turned 16! She loved the life of a military dependant. There was no other life for her. She got to see so much!

Well, fast forward many, many years, now she's 43 years old, with a daughter of her own. Since that move in 1982 she has moved 12 more times, and she's getting ready to make another move making this 13 times in in 27 years. Better than before, but this move is back to the place she was happiest, and the place she has promised she'd take her daughter since she was a baby. They are leaving for Germany, not the place she left when she was a teen, but very close. Inside she can barely contain her excitement, but has realized how much her parents did with each move, and moving overseas is HUGE!

There is so much we take for granted when we are young. Does anyone really understand how much our parents do for us, especially military dependants? Seriously doubt it. Well, I do now and I appreciate them so much. Thankfully, they have been through this move and they understand what is needed and how much preparation is needed. They can help with must go, and what can stay. How to ship a car, and prepare stuff to go into longterm storage. WOW! There is so much to do when you move overseas.

The little girl has grown up, has a daughter of her own, and is ready to go back to the place she was truly the happiest in her life. As she gets ready what sits at the back of her mind now is - are you ever going to come back? The answer always comes back to - NO! I want to stay over there, I love Europe, my soul belongs there.

I will try to keep up my journey here. Europe is going to be a whole new adventure for this little girl in a grown woman's body.

Everybody look what's going down...

Stop! What's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down.


I recently had an old friend tell me she has an issue with my beliefs.
It caught me off guard and angered me. When I was a Christian I never
had a problem with someone else's religion or beliefs. Does that make me
a better person? No, I don't think so, but I do believe it makes me a
more loving person. I never had a problem with someone's sexual
orientation, or the color of their skin. I will admit that I've had
problems with people's attitudes, arrogance, stupidity, ignorance, and
their bigotry. I've always, I do mean always, felt the reason I am here
on this earth is to spread LOVE.


I'm not talking about being easy, or sexually promiscuous. I'm talking
about loving everyone, the way God and Goddess have told us to. It's
really not hard to love others. All you have to do is drop your guard,
and love someone without conditions. You know that thing called
"unconditional love." This does not mean that you must believe in what
they do, or want to live the lifestyle they live. It does mean that you
love them for who they are.


For instance, one of my friends recently told me that they don't stand
up for the national anthem, or say the pledge of allegiance. Did I get
pissed off - hell yes! However, I maintained my composure and listened
to what they had to say about why they didn't do it. Then, I remembered
that is their unalienable right to do just that as an American. A few
years ago I probably would have told this person to get out of America
then, but I truly believe that we have these rights to protect all of
us, not just a chosen handful. This is also why I have the right to
believe the way I do. I'm not asking for anyone to accept or believe in
my path. This is right for me. I don't force or convert others to
believe in my beliefs. I never will - again.


When I was a Christian I believed what the preachers told me, that I had
to go out and "spread the word." Well, I don't anymore. My eyes were
opened when I took an Art History class and found out that Christians
are the ones that have primarily gone into areas and demolished other's
religious icons, places of worship, and lives in general. This saddened
me to know that I had been a part of something that was so arrogant and
cruel. I had just been focusing on the man that I worshipped, and not
the people that followed him as well.


So, now I focus on loving and being there for others, and all the other
stuff I was taught. I don't consider myself a Christian anymore. I don't
want to be associated with the followers of that religion. I think the
lessons are wonderful and you can be a good person, but for the most
part "Christians" think their way is the only way, and if you don't
follow the path they think you should then you're not living right. It's
sad really, I know it makes me sad.


So, I'll keep on loving the world and trying to make it a better place
for all...the way God has taught me to, not man!

Sea Bound Trash Zone?!?

Maybe I'm really behind on my news. I've just recently become interested
again in that subject. It used to annoy me. Know that my interest had
nothing to do with the Presidential elections, or the cost of
unemployment, or even the war. No, it had to do with America in general.
When did we become such a nasty country? For instance did you know that
the Pacific Ocean has an area where we throw garbage? I didn't. I'm
sickened by this fact.
Sea bound trash



So, our landfills are full? So, we have to start throwing garbage away
in the ocean? No! Given the fact that we barely occupy 35% of the land
in this country, quite frankly disgusts me to know that we're doing this
sea bound dumping. No, I'm not for filling up the land with garbage.
However, we do have this little know idea called recycling. Maybe we
should ALL start doing it. How hard is it to separate your garbage as
you put it into the bin? Buy one of those garbage cans that have three
bins, or have three bags or buckets. You know the ones your kids used to
use, but now are filled with toys they haven't touched in years. Try
putting your garbage in those. Then, take them, if you don't have
recycling in your city, to the recycling place.


Did you know that you get money, cash (mullah, deniro, cha-ching) back
when you recycle? Okay, you won't get rich on it (although some have).
The simple fact that we're throwing stuff into the ocean is completely
disgusting. When did this become legal? Good grief! There are creatures
out there that we have no clue about, and we're probably killing them
now.


So, come on people, either cut down on the waste, or recycle. You know
that heat you've been bitching about? Well, it's due to the fact that
we're killing our planet. So, take a moment, and if you don't care about
anyone other than little 'ole you, then okay. Care to be cooler? Then
take care of the planet that you live on. Hey, the idea of living and
trashing the atmosphere of another planet is a long time away.

Single Life - it isn't so bad, is it?

I'm a 43 year old single woman. I raised my daughter mostly on my own.
Yes, my folks were there for us and I had a common-law (CL) husband for about five years. The rest of her 21 years have been on our own. I'd say it w as about 75% alone. I never minded it, not for a moment. If I had any kind of thought that I would not have been able to be a good mom to my daughter. I would not have: 1. become pregnant, or 2. kept the baby. (Yes, this does mean I'm pro-choice.) So, this is about me, not about being a single mom, that's a whole other blog session. ;0)


I am an attractive, albeit voluptuous, 43 year old single woman. I've
not had even had a date in over 13 years; since my CL husband committed suicide in 1996. My priority until 2006 was raising my daughter and getting her out of high school and into college. Well, she's done that quite well. So, it's time for me to shift some of the time back onto myself, right? Not really. See, I still have to get her through college. She's got two and a half years left. She spent a half a year working as an intern for the Walt Disney Company in Florida. Then, by the time she got back home she couldn't register for school because it was too late. When the next semester came around my job was moving. So, we moved, and then two months later moved back. (Again, that's another blog.) Now, she's back in school full time this semester, she should graduate with an AA May 2010. She'll move on for her BA at one of the four year universities here in our area. Okay, so back to me right? Well, I'm finishing my AA, finally after 26 years. I do work full time, and I'm one of the lucky ones - I love my job and the people I work with and for right now.


However, this doesn't leave a lot of time to date, well maybe it does.
But, I can't seem to find a man. I'll get down on myself and think -
"hey, it's 'cause you're fat." Then, I look around and realize, no
that's not it. It's then I hear my Grandparents telling me "you'll meet him when you aren't looking /or/ least expect it." Well, I've not been "looking" or been "expecting it" for years now. No, I haven't stooped to looking under rocks, or in bars.


I'm outside and quite active for my fatty size. That's about the time I hear my daughter, and friends tell me that I'm too down on myself. Well, just because I'm REAL about being fat, does not mean I am down on myself. Do I have body issues, sure...again another blog. I do love to hike, I love to do touristy stuff downtown San Antonio - often, and I love riding rides - like Superman and other roller coasters. I have a type A personality stuck beneath the layers. Which reminds me of a
comment a co-worker said to me a couple of weeks ago, when I showed him a photo of me back when I was 17, or 18. He said "damn, you were HOT!" Ah, that little four letter word - WERE, it's a tough word to hear. I smiled and told him, I know, but I didn't know then, which is really too bad. Well, I'm still "hot," it's just that now the hot 'little' girl is inside me, and the woman 'outside' with more knowledge and love is what the world sees.


Right about that time I begin to see the new show "Drop Dead Diva." I
can relate to it so well. See, my skinny girl didn't have to die,
literally, but figuratively. She is still in me, looking me up and down in the mirror the way all you skinny girls still do me now. Funny thing is, I will catch myself doing it to them and not thinking "OMG look how fat she is," but I catch myself thinking "does she realize how beautiful she is now, and does she truly love who she is?" I become sad for the skinny girls that don't get it. I get it, I really do.


So, back to the point - why am I still single? There are men out there
that like big women. They also come in all shapes and sizes. So, where
are they? What do I have to do to find them?


I've often thought of starting a website for big beautiful people in
Texas. We're still beautiful, and have a lot to offer a relationship,
besides the numbers on a scale. Shoot, most of us know how to cook – and NOT burn the stuff we're making. We know how to laugh and mean it. We also know how to love someone without looking down on the other person. It doesn't have to be a hetro thing, mine would be, but not all big girls, or boys are hetro and that's cool. I'm a fan of all walks of life. I don't judge on who you love. That's up to you. Everyone knows what's right for them.


So, if you're between the ages of 38 to 50 and you're single, you're not afraid of a woman with some meat on her bones. You can handle being outside and walking around, or in a park riding rides, or traveling to just that one spot to get just that right photo at just the right moment. Then, shoot me an email.


Website for us lovely big and beautiful people...I will seriously this about it. It's worth trying.

Is it really?

The older I get the more I realize it is truly not about me. While I go through some stupid issue in life I know this, but then my mind does this two year old dance and begins to throw a tantrum because things aren't going my way. I want the world to stop and I want to say...WAIT! For once in my life I want things to go my way. I want things to be right for me. I want MY prayers answered the way I want them to be. Then I realize it's just not going to happen for me. It's going to be real. It is going to be life. It is going to, once again, bite me in the ass. It's then that I know, once again, that it is NOT about me. It is about the world, and those in it - right now.

I feel bad when I have those tantrum moments. Then, I get angry that things don't go my way. It is at that point that I realize that I have it really good. Really good! I have a wonderful set of parents who love me, and were there for me as much as they could be growing up. (Which apparently I'm still doing.) I have a daughter who is the complete light of my life. I have incredible friends who are there for me, and I them. I like my supervisor, and I enjoy working with the people I work with...what are they called? Oh, yeah co-workers. LOL On top of all this I completely and truly love my job. I'm one of the lucky people. I'm one of the blessed.

So, why do I get all wiggy and whiny? Because I don't have a boyfriend or husband? So what! I love to travel, and can afford to do it. Because I'm not rich? So what! I get money back when I file my taxes. Because I actually have to work for everything I have and have ever had? So what! I value my work ethic, and again I'm damn lucky to have a job I completely love.

Would it be nice to have all the stuff I just mentioned? Sure it would. But, I'm pretty happy. So is it really important to always get your way, and have everything about you? No! No it's not.

Be happy where you are. If you're really not, then work at changing it and make it a better outcome. It's all up to you anyway. YOU make your path. YOU choose to be happy. So it is up to YOU to do it.

Teasing, bullying, arrogance, and stupidity

I just finished watching America's Got Talent. There was an unemployed farmer, Kevin Skinner, that came on to sing. He looked like a working class kind of guy, like most of the people I know in life. Well, the judges asked him what he did, and he stated he was out of work. They asked him what he used to do, and he replied he was a chicken catcher. The judges and audience burst into loud laughter. I burst into tears. My entire life I have fought for those that others make fun of. I get boiling mad when I hear someone making fun, or laughing at someone because they think they are better than the other individual.

Well, my folks have a farm. My daughter and I both have tried to catch chickens. Unless you've done it first hand you have no idea what a major pain in the ass it can be. Those little critters run really fast, and can turn a corner better than some jaguars! I swear...LOL But, I digress. When we would go out to try to catch them to get them in their pins it was be a sweat fest! Afterwards we didn't dislike the chicken farmers so much. See, my folks don't eat their livestock, they are really expensive pets. Seriously!

But, again I digress. When the audience and judges began laughing at Mr. Skinner I felt like someone was slapping him, or a crowd of people were standing around him pointing and laughing. It just made me so very angry.

Then Mr. Skinner began to sing, as I knew he would, as someone with hidden talent could. The song was perfection. I cried as he sang. He is amazing. I don't know if he'll win, but I do know that people need to learn to give people a chance before judgement.

Waiting Your Turn

Have you ever noticed that when you go to a place, you know one of those tourist places, and it's just you and maybe another adult, or a few adults that people that have children assume they are more important?

Well, I'm here to tell you, loud and proud, YOU AREN'T!!! Wait your turn, just like the rest of us do. Oh, and by the way just because you and grandma and grandpa think little Johnny, or Jenny are just completely precious, doesn't mean the rest of the world does. We do not want to stand behind you with those kids taking 15 minutes to be some place. Just keep moving. Don't take forever to look at something, and YES! some adults do want to take photos in the silly cars, or on or next to that statue. Yes, we want memories as well. Sheesh! Why is it when most people have kids they forget what it is like to be a normal human?

Yes, I have a daughter, and I raised her by myself. However, I also paid attention to the fact that there are others on this planet, and although I think (as do others) my daughter is extremly beautiful...I realize that the entire world doesn't want to watch her climb around, drive the silly car, or play. So, I would let her play for a moment...not more than two usually, then moved on. I paid attention if people were waiting in line by me. If someone walked up I would tell my daughter to finish and move on that others were waiting. I do believe that grandparents are the world's worst at this little annoyance. Trust me...most humans do NOT think your grandkids are nearly as cute as you do. It's just fact. So, let them get in there, play, take the photos, and then move on. Shit, the paint is drying some where and I'm tired of waiting for it.

The thing is, I may actually start saying things to people. I've become very bold, and yes to some, rude in my older age. I don't have time to entertain other's supidity. I'll be bold about it and just tell you so.

So, if you're entertaining your children, your grandchildren, or your step kids do it quickly, there are others waiting to get into that silly little car, or see that cute little fish. Stop hogging the space and get the hell out of our way.

Ah, I feel better...come on...you know you feel this way as well. If you don't then you are more than likely one of the annoying humans that think their kids are the cutest.

Today is Tuesday, January 20, 2009. It's a historical day in the UnitedStates of America. On this day Barack Hussein Obama II will be sworn into the office of the President of these United States of America. I want to remember this day to tell my grandchildren about the significance. This country has come a long way, but still has a long way to go.

I truly believe the reason MOST people voted for this man was due to the fact that he is half black. The main thing everyone is talking about is the fact that we are going to have our "first black president," or our"first African American" President. This just aggravates the hell out ofme. See, Barak Obama is HALF white and HALF black. Unless, they have found a way for men to get pregnant, and I'm talking about men that were male from the time of birth, not that woman who became a man. (Thomas Beatie, the "transgendered pregnant man".) Then, it is completely impossible for Obama to be our first "black" President. HE IS HALF WHITE! Come on give his Mom, and her parents the props they deserve for raising him right. After all his grandparents, you know the WHITE ones, raised him.

This has become a racial thing, not an issue on his values and skills. I know that I voted for him for those reasons, not his race. I don't give a damn if he's half purple...but just give the credit where it's due. He's intelligent, honorable and willing to do the job that many wouldn't dream of doing. I believe he'll do an awesome job indeed. To top it off, he also has a great sense of humor.

Okay, now that I've vented about that issue, let me tell you what I think about Barak Hussein Obama II. I think he was the best candidate that ran this time. I am glad I voted the way I did. I believe he IS the best man for the office. He has a plan on how to make things better forAmerica. I believe this, or I would not have voted for him.

I will be honest, again, that up until I hit the voting button, I was unsure of who I wanted to vote for in this election. I do know that I would never in a million years have voted for Palin. The woman was just an embarrassment. Her values were askew. How dare her "preach" on pregnancy issues with a teenager of her own that was pregnant. The fact that she found it important to tell other women how to handle their own bodies just annoyed the hell out of me. The fact that she said things that just made me sit there with a look of disbelief on my face was annoying as hell. So, McCain had you run without her you would have had my vote. However, I am glad that you chose her...otherwise we wouldn'tbe where we are on this day.

I know I will look back on this day with the same feelings I have now. I would like to come back a year from now and reflect on how PresidentObama has done in the office. I have no doubt he'll have his ups and downs. After all what President Bush has left for him to clean up is an uphill battle. I just don't doubt that he'll take care of it the way it should be. It took a Democratic President to clean up the last mess a Republican did, it's going to take another.

I'll also come back to reflect on where America, and Americans are a year from now. I wish President Obama nothing but happiness, peace, and the knowledge he needs to run this country.

It's great to see America has grown, matured, and is making mends with the people that live here now. The only people that we still owe are the Indian's that owned this land to begin with, before we all got here.

I know this country will grow and learn from all of this, I only hope that it won't continue to be a racial thing.

May Goddess and God bless America.

One more thing Mr. President...You had Pagan's vote for you too, like my daughter and me. You failed to talk about us in the religious portion of your speech. Pagans live in America too...and we vote!

Austin, Texas is one of those cities that you can enjoy alone, or as I did yesterday with six others.
You see my daughter and I had the awesome opportunity to live in Killeen, TX during this summer this year, because my job moved me from San Antonio to Killeen. Well, along the way I met some incredible soldiers and friends. I ended up "adopting" several soldiers as "my own kids." I truly love them like my own. So, every now and then I get the awesome opportunity to spend some time with them. Either they come to San Antonio or we drive up to Killeen. This time we all met in Austin. It was incredible.

To start off we all met inside the state capitol building. They said they were in the basement, in reality they were on the second floor. Funny thing...in that building if you're in the hallways you really can't tell where you are. It's when you wander into the center of the building you realize that you are indeed on another floor.

Once we found them we wandered the halls; went to see some offices. There is one guy in the building that has his office set up like an old time soda shop. No kidding! Did I get photo...no, they would not have turned out. However, I do plan on going back during the week sometime to capture the office! It was the coolest!

We went to Toy Joy, the coolest toy store outside of Archie McPhee's. All in all it was just an awesome day.

If you haven't been to Austin, or even if you have, there are some places you must check out. The Capitol building, go down Guadalupe and check out the HUGE chess board next to the library, keep going and go across the river near UT. Check out the campus, then go to Toy Joy, from there go play some frisbee golf, and then go eat at Freddies! Before you finish up the day head to Round Rock and go to IKEA.

All in all Austin, Texas is GREAT. If you know any Pagans...it only gets that much better. We had a great time. We had each of the elements covered...so they stood on the star and represented well.

Blessed Be!

Your Life is in My Hands Now!

Your Life is in My Hands Now!

I had to interview people to replace me at my job. I've interviewed two,and I have one more to go. I don't know how head hunters do this job.This is so stressful. Knowing you have someone's life in your hands canbe very grating. I suppose some people like having that power. Not me, no sir!

I sat through the first interview talking with the person, agreeing with them, actually liking the individual. The interview ended after 45minutes and I walked them out. I realized, I like this person, this could be the one.

Then, I had to do a phone interview in 30 minutes for the next person. I liked them, the resume and the work they've done is awesome; the answers not so great. I found myself listening closer to this person's answers. I found that because it was a phone interview and not in person I paid attention to details I may have missed because I had a person sitting across from me.

My last interview is tomorrow afternoon - maybe. See, the last person can not come when I have time. So, they asked me to meet late in the day. Um, don't you know no one wants to stay that late in the day ON A FRIDAY? So, I'm going into this interview with that in my head already. That's not a good attitude to take.

I had a friend point this out perfectly when I told her I hate playing with people's lives. She said "That my dear is Karma with a Kapital K!!!" I replied to her "I've been playing in the Karma garden too much lately..." I know that I'm either making a positive thing happen for someone, and something negative for two.

Life is what it is...the one that deserves it to be bad. All I know is that the person that is meant to be here will be in the position I have now. I wish all of them the best of luck and know that their lives will be what they are meant to be.

Blessed Be!

The Cubicle World

The Cubicle World

I sit in my little cubicle world, as many of us do, day in and day out. I look around the room and watch people when my eyes need a break from the computer screen. I watch their habits, their daily quirks and wonderif they do these same things at home, or is this merely a work quirk?

I work in a room of three people. I work directly for the big boss. I love my job. I get to, as people tell my daily, play with the cool toys. I'm a graphic artist. I work directly with two public affairs personnel. Their jobs are high stress and high visibility. I don't envy them in the least. Again, I love my job.

I will take that momentary break and look over at one or both of them and just chuckle to myself. The man I work with has a thing for crinkly paper snacks. Every morning, and every afternoon I'll hear him reaching into a crinkly wrapper to obtain a tasty tidbit. He'll sneak it into his mouth like a child that has had his hand slapped one to many times forgetting "that" snack he shouldn't have. I then wonder about his home life. Is he treated as well as he should be, does he treat the Mrs. as well as she should be? Are the children happy?

Then, I look into the other room with my manager and wonder if she knows how to let go of the stress that is weighing her down so much. She looks exhausted, not in a bad way. Not to say that she's not taking care of how she looks or carries herself. But, being sensitive I feel the overwhelming stress she carries with her day in and day out. That's when I'll begin to wonder about her home life as well. Does her husband take the stress off of her when she gets home? After all he's retired and can have dinner cooked when she gets home, or does she have to do that herself?

I walk down the hall and where the big boss's administrative assistants sit, and notice how quiet and perfect they always look. Is it real, or is it just because they have to work in that office? They always look perfectly pressed, their make up is pristine, and well, don't even get me started about their desks.

That's when I come back to my own desk. I look around at all the paperwork I've got sitting on my desk, orders for work to be done. I think about my own life. Every single day I eat yogurt for breakfast, with a piece of fruit at least 16 oz of water, and maybe a cup of coffee with a sugar substitute. After all I'm diabetic I have to watch what I eat, and how much I eat.

I think about my home life. I don't have a man to call my own, but then I never will because I don't believe people belong to one another. We are merely sharing space and life. Still, I don't have a man to share my space. Sure, I've talked to a man or two over the years since his death. But, no one steady, no one here. At that moment I smile to myself because I know I am comfortable in whom I am. I live with my daughter,who is 20 and will be going back to college after a year off, and I realize that I am one of the lucky ones. Sure, I have stress. Things get to me and I worry. However, I've got a great life.

At that moment I'll look back at my co-workers and smile. Say a quick prayer for their happiness and think to myself, I hope they obtain what I have in life.

Blessed be!

Place to call home

I’m 42 years old. I’ve almost always lived with, next to or under the thumb of my parents. Well, three weeks ago my daughter and I moved into our own place, it’s our first apartment by ourselves. We were going for a 2/2, but we got a 3/2. It rocks. I love it, and we’re very happy there.

I am getting my tax refund this weekend and I will be bringing the rest of our family home with us. See, my parents have graciously taken care of my cat and dog for us. The only problem is that my cat has been living on his own in our old house. It’s quite sad. So, they will be coming home to stay with us. I can’t wait. It’ll be great. Also, my daughter has decided she wants a cat of her own. See, animals tend to gravitate towards me. So, we’re in search of a black kitten…or black and white kitten for her. Wish us luck.

Blessed be

Proud and WHITE!

Okay, I know I've made a stand about this before. However, I'm completely sick and tired of this crap.

Why on earth do all the other nationalities and races get their own grants, and colleges? You know good darn well if a group of white adults tried to do this for "white" kids we'd be called racists. This is bullshit!

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/metro/stories/MYSA021208.03B.Hispanic_Fund.2fc954e.html?npc

We have the NAACP, we have the NCF, HCF, NHU, a nd so many more. OMG! If the caucasians, white, non-"miniority" people did this it would be a call to Congress to stop!

Seriously, I'm having to work my ass of to put myself and my daughter through school. I didn't go out and continually have kids so that I could live off of walfare or beg for hand outs. So, because I had ONE child out of wedlock and raised her on my own and raised her right. She's never gotten into trouble, she doesn't drink, party or sleep around with guys, or girls. She's not gay, and neither am I. (With that said...mind you we are a "Gay friendly" family. We do not judge others. However, we're sick of other's getting everything!)
We are penalized and told we have to get a loan. There are no funds for us. BULLSHIT!

For once I would like to be proud of being "white", caucasian or non-minority and not be called a racist.

This sucks! I'm just whining now...