How will you be remembered?

Have you ever asked a friend or love one to describe you – honestly? I did yesterday. I like to know how others see me. I want to be sure I’m being kind and loving, honest and real with not only my friends and family, but with the rest of the world too.

Growing up I remember my Mom telling us stories of how her father would get out of the car after yelling and screaming at her Mom, her and her sister. He would then walk up to a stranger, greet them friendly and smiling. She told me that rocked her to her core every single time he did it, which was often. My Mom grew up with a physically, verbally and emotionally abusive father. That is a person I didn’t want to become – ever.

I know my path in life is a lesson of love. It’s that simple – LOVE. Teach it to the world. So, I try to be kind, funny, silly at times, but always loving to everyone. Yes, I do get stepped on often, but that’s not going to change who I am. I want to personify love. It’s important to me, very important.

I have had some horrendous things happen to me in my life. Recently, I had to tell my superiors at work about one of them. My immediate supervisor told me that he was quite shocked that happened to me in life because of how I am. (He gestured at all of me. LOL!) I smiled at him and told him, “The things that have happened in my life have made me who I am. They have allowed me to see people where they are, not where I expect them to be.”

The photo to the right here was painted in 1959, and is in the medical facility in Heidelberg. I wonder if it was painted by a soldier, civilian, or a hired artist. I wonder what the person was really like in life. His painting is beautiful. It’s chipped and peeling on the bottom, but the painting is beautiful over all. I stood in front of it and wondered about the person that painted. Who was he? What was he like? Did he like doing this, or was it just a job? How do his friends and family remember him? This led me to think about how others see me again.

Well, the other day I asked my daughter to describe me in a completely honest way. I was prepared for the worst. My daughter is very honest – it’s what I truly love about her. She’s an incredibly quiet and passionate woman, who is not afraid to tell it like it is. Well, the first word out of her mouth was “quirky.” Can I tell you how much I LOVE that word?!?! She went on to say”, …kind, funny, loving, always willing to help others, you always tell people the truth, while not ever meaning to hurt them – you tell them the truth none the less. You’re silly, funny, creative and fun.” This was so refreshing to hear. I asked her – “Am I mean, hurtful, selfish or unkind?” She came back with “No.”

It’s odd how we see ourselves at times. I see myself as selfish, mean and sometimes unkind. Apparently, self is much harder on us than truth, reality and how others see us. This really did surprise me. I’m happy with how I’m perceived, but now I have to learn to see me that way as well. All the while continuing to be how they see me, and of course to keep on LOVING the world.

How do you want to be remembered? If you’re not living as you should – change it. It only takes 21 days to make a behavior a habit. You can do it. 21 days is such a short amount of time in a lifetime.

Love passionately!
Love without regret.
Love where THEY are, not where you want them to be.
LOVE OUT LOUD!

Time to Listen

Lately, I've been very quiet, at home, work, in the car, while traveling, just silent. Listening to the world instead of cluttering it up with my sounds. I like it, I like it a lot.

Every now and then we need to remember to be still and give back.

It's funny, I actually have the urge to lay down on the earth and hug her. Thank her for all she's given to me and my family. The only thing holding me back is the mud. I just do not like mud. *shiver*

I know there is a reason for all the contemplative silence, but I know I really like it. I'm doing a lot of traveling while I'm here. I'm considering just staying within Ireland, Scotland and England for the remainder of my trips. I want to go to Greece, Spain and Italy, but the Queen's land is where my heart lies.

I'm going to Scotland in a few weeks. It is something I've wanted to do since I can remember. I've been to Ireland where one Grandpa was from, now I'm going to the land where my name is from, this is such a special trip to me. I have secret hopes and dreams, but I know that I'll be happy no matter what happens.

I hope to go back and just sit on a hill in the Highlands and listen. Spend a day with my ancestors, listening to them - maybe that's what I'm doing - preparing my soul. For now, I'll enjoy Edinburgh for this short trip. Next time it's time it's to see the rest!

Have a blessed day!

Looking into the Secret Garden

On the morning of December 26th 2010 I went for a walk. A bit of reflection on my 44th year of life. Since I was about to become 45 I just wanted to see the world, and think about where I've come in life.

For 28 years I wanted nothing more than to come back to Germany. When I got her on 17 January 2010 I was in heaven. I came to realize that Heidelberg is one of the most unfriendly cities in Germany. I found this out on my own, but also from talking with many Germans that also stated Heidelberg was very cold, snobby and conservative. Now, know that I have found some very kind and wonderful people here as well, but they are not from here.

So, on the 26th I took a reflective walk. I gave thanks to getting me back to the land I so longed to be in again, dispite the changes it's under gone. (Good grief after 28 years I would hope it changed a bit.) I gave thanks for my health, and my daughters. I gave thanks for the wonderful man that my daughter has met. I gave thanks for my job - I have the best job in the world - for me!

That's when I walked up to this little garden spot. I looked in through the hedges and saw the tire swing. I quickly thought of my beautiful home in Texas and remembered my parents and all they've done for me. All of the good years I've had in life. I remembered what a blessed childhood I had, and how grateful I am to still have both of my parents in my life. I stopped for a moment and gave thanks for them, and ask for their continued good health and safe being.

I looked around and realized what a beautiful spot on earth I was standing in. I smiled, raised my camera to my eye, and captured a moment in a very magical moment for me.

I had two days before I became 45 years old, and I knew it was going to be my best year yet.

I give thanks to the Gods and Goddesses for my life, without one, I do not have the other. Blessed be!

Time to do it, is now!

I'm 45 today. What changes do I want for me? I want to live. I've stopped living for so many. Well this year I'm going to live. I'm going to appreciate all the universe has for me and start doing. I'm going to try to wear make up more. Not for anyone other than myself. I want to learn how to look into the mirror and smile. I want to tell myself I love me and mean it!

This year I'm going to get back in touch with my photography,and my femininity, and date again. Get in touch with the world.I'm still going to look where I can learn and become a better person, but it's time to live.

So, look out world! I'm 45 and I'm ready to live, and use what you've taught me for good, and tell myself I'm worth it.

I love me and I mean it!

Eat, Pray...WAIT!

Okay, so it took me four years to actually begin reading the book "Eat, Pray, Love" and

Interactive - wanna play?

Have you ever wanted to make your blog interactive. You know ask those that read it to be a part of it? Well, that's what I'd like to do. I would like to start writing a story, but I would appreciate it if you, my friends and followers join in and help me - no I ask you to make it our own.

So, let's do this - let's begin to write the story of a woman who has spent her life making others happy, but now wants to make her world happy as well. Help to find a man, and to continue to love the world as she has throughout life.

I'll give everyone a week to think about it. I'm going to England for vacation. When I get back I will start the story.

So, come up with some ideas and post a response or two.

Journey

The journey continues towards the pursuit of happiness. Well, I thought it was, along the way I fell over a bump and thought that it was adding someone to the mix that would make me happy. In reality, it's only me that can be happy. See, I'm a bit neurotic?

WHAT? You ask? A person with a blog is neurotic? WTF???!!!

Sure, I am. There I admit it.

The problem is that when I add more to the mixture that is me, I become even more neurotic. I focus on them. You know the "why aren't they calling?"; or "why aren't they texting me?"; or worse yet "why are they adding her/him to their fb?" Seriously? WTF? Okay, so the other person has a life too, and NO maybe you're not as important in their life as you thought you were. So, let it go. Shit, they have stuff to do, and will get back with you when they have time. You have the choice to wait or get your ass off the sofa and go out. Maybe meet someone else, or just have a damn good time. The choice is yours, and guess what NO that person does not hope that all of your happiness rises and falls in the palms of their hands.

So, the journey continues to towards the pursuit of happiness - it's my choice how I navigate. Today, I take the road less traveled and make my own happiness.

Veggies for life

For the last ten years my health has been going down hill. There is some I can do about it, and some I have been told I can't do much at all. Well, that's about to change. I have been kicking around the idea about becoming a Vegetarian for about five years.

Well, I've finally made the leap into a healthy lifestyle.

I've done if for several reason, number one being a healtheir me, and a longer life to enjoy life. Do I miss meat? I'd be lying if I said no, not at all. I miss some meat - bacon and the occasional steak. However, do I feel healtheir? Yes! Yes I do! I find I have more energy, I think clearly, and my skin seems much happier - not as greasy.

I made the complete change a couple of weeks ago. I've had bacon a couple of times. I have to be honest - it's the one meat I should really give up, but it's one I just won't. Now, stating that I can tell you I won't have it often. By that I mean I'll probably have it 4 times a year at the most. I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. I haven't had a steak at all, and I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. You see beef does not digest through my system as it once did. About three years ago I noticed it was taking more than eight hours to work through, and during that time it caused me a great deal of pain while it was digesting.

(Side note: the recipe is found here on SparkPeople: Squashed Stir Fried Brown Rice)

I stopped eating chicken because the texture literally made me gag. Pork is probably the one meat that I still don't have a problem with, but I just don't want it (minus bacon-again), anymore. Now, there's the question about fish and shell fish - well, I'm not a fish eater anyway. I do like shrimp, but don't eat it much either. So, minus the four times a year meat - bacon - I can say I'll be enjoying this new journey without meat.

I'm finding all kinds of delicious recipes. I enjoy soy. Thankfully I LOVE Asian foods. So, into this new journey of a healthy life I go. I've only lost two pounds so far - but it's about a life style, not about rapid weight loss.

Oh, and I'm not eating a ton of fried foods. I'm also cutting fat out of my diet. WOW does it do a number on your tummy!

Sorry, for the rambling and misguided blog today. I'm just happier and I wanted to share my new life style with those of you that actually read my blog.

Have a great day!

Giveaways...and others

I've recently started swapping again. I found a great site called Swap-bot, and I LOVE it. Sure, the swaps are wonderful, but it's actually about the people.

I've met some wonderful people on the site. I've begun to follow

many of their blogs. Some of these people have giveaways. What fun!

It's made me think about trying to get some stuff together to have one myself. However, I know I don't have time right at this moment - so, until I do I will promote those that do. Such as this wonderful blog by SecretlyLovesPink. So much fun. Go by and check out her giveaway you won't be able to stay away even after it's over. She's loads of fun, and she's so precious.

The photo here is a doll from a window display in Strasbourg, France. I thought she was so beautiful. A bit out my price range, but completely precious.

Identity

Religion is a HUGE topic right now in America. I should say religious intolerance!
This is the number one reason I wanted out of the country I called home. Unless you're a Christian 'you're in a religion that is considered a cult, and/or you follow or worship the devil.' It's sad and pathetic. I shouldn't say all say this, or even feel this way, but I will state the large majority do. This includes my own biological family.

I was a Christian for 41 years of my life, and a devoted one. I have an addictive personality though. So, when I do something I do it all the way; both feet in; swimming all around. I dive in head first and stay until I'm all shriveled up.

I was a Sunday school teacher, and a preacher to anyone who would give me two minutes of their time. This all changed when the veil was lifted and I started to see the hatred humans were pouring out onto one another "in the name of Christ." Exactly when and where does it state, in the book written by various men, during various times, that it is okay to spew judgement and hatred. Don't interpret bible verses to fit your anger. Read the two verses before, and at least two after the one you choose. Take it in it's orginal context, not out of it to fit your mood. Read the entire book, not just certain chapters or books in the book. It's filled with so much: lessons, guidance, love, sensuality, horror, fear - it's filled with everything you could imagine or want from a movie and more.

Right now America's anger is geared towards those that worship inside a Mosque.

Don't get me wrong - I despise those that did what they did on September 11, 2001. It hits my life VERY close to home! I despise those that did what they did, and all those they are tied to. However, this does NOT mean I hate all Muslims. What a narrow minded person and way of thinking that would be. This would be as bad as me stating I hate ALL Christians. I don't - just the crazy, over zealous and hate filled mongers of the faith that use it, or hide behind it as a crutch.

Jesus was a good teacher, filled with love for all. Think about it though. So was Buddha, and many of the Gods and Goddesses of the Celts, Hindus and others that worship multiples, the Great Spirit and others. We all follow the same - we just choose to call them something different.

Do not be afraid to open your heart, mind and soul to learn what is out there.

The worst thing to do is shut down, and not to continue to educate onself to the other religions. Doing so teaches hate and intolerance.

Don't hate - Educate!

Weekends

(Photo taken in Oftersheim, Germany)

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you just want to stay home on a weekend?

I mean stay home and clean, do household stuff, hide from the world and be with those you love - or alone, or is this phenomenon just in my realm?

I came back from Ireland. A land I fell completely in love with, a land I'm still trying to figure out why on earth my great grandfather left; a place where I felt completely at home. Now, I just want to go back - stay there and never leave.

I'm sure vacations hit people like this regularly, but for me it was a first, and a bit weird. Do I still want to go back and live? Sure, of course I do. Will I? Who knows honestly? I know the military installation I work on right now is closing come 2013-2015. So, I will be looking to move. So, maybe!

Because of this feeling though, I have the desire to stay home, in my nest or cocoon - just myself, my daughter and our dog. Hide from the world so to speak. I'm not depressed, just need to gather my reality again.

After all - for goodness sakes - I'm stationed in Germany and I love Europe. I'm still trying to adjust to some of the attitudes and quirks of things here. Seems like I'd have the hang of things here - it's my fourth time living in this land. *SIGH!*

So, this weekend - I'm cleaning and doing crafts - YAY!

Happy weekend all :0) I'm sure I'll be posting photos of the cleaning. Oh joy! hahaha!

Blogging is fun...and should be shared!

I found a great site where I can swap stuff. Some stuff is through the mail, some online like this swap from Swap-bot. It was to follow ten bloggers. Well, I am following them, and quite a few more now. I'm loving it. Not all are on Blogger, but you can check them out and enjoy their lives as well. Isn't life about meeting new people and loving life?

Blogs I'm following thanks to Swap-bot's "I'm a Blogger, Follow Me!!!" swap.

1. Crystal's is a variety blog of all kinds of goodies, plus she guides you to other blogs that do give-aways and such. If you have time be sure to go by.

2. Tima's blog "Living in Dar" is truly an adventure. She's witty and fun. If you've never heard of Dar...then what are you waiting for? Check her out now.

3. M for short's blog "Fun as you make it" is like talking to a really good friend on the phone, with the added bonus of photos. Her blogs are refreshing and positive. Be sure to stopy by and check her out.

4. Ambrosia's blog "Birth of a Notion" shows a life of someone that is truly dedicated to writing and being a true friend. She's right in the middle of a real life change right now and moving. She finds time to stay dedicated to her blog.

5. Joni's blog "~TrainMama~" is quite encouraging and will show you some other wonderful bloggers. Dig deep into her blog and find her. She's so giving that you get to know her through her sharing. It's really quite wonderful.

6. ScrappinAuntie's blog "A little bit about" starts off with a reminder to think positively through affirmations with a nightly statement she puts up. It's a great reminder for us to be thankful. I really liked that, and so much more about her blog. Stop by and fill her up with some more happiness.

7. Jessica's blog "Sparsile Vacivity" is wonderful and witty. She speaks my language - geek, and I love it! She reminds me of my friends back home in Texas so I really enjoyed her wittiness. Stop by and giggle a little.

8. Rochelle's blog "Three Turns to Home" has some incredible embrodering, makes me want to pick up my Grandma's old work and do it all! But I loved how she talked about her kids. You can tell they are the light of her life. Keep her son in prayer as he heals from surgery. Her daughter is pushing independance and loving life.

9. Shary's Mama Fish blog "blog.sharylove.com" is all about Mommihood. I love her points of view on breastfeeding. I agree with much of what she says here. I think more Mom's should breastfeed. It's best for the baby. Plus, there is no other connection like it. Trust me when I say your children are less fussy and, I think, are more connected to you in life. Well, read for yourself.

10. Glenda's blog "Sweet Daisy Dreams" is giving and read like the letters we used to write back in the day of letter writing. She is not afraid to recommend others in her blog. I really enjoyed wandering around her blog, and look forward to seeing more in the future. Travel on over and check into Glenda's blog.

These were my partners...but because of them I found quite a few other blogs that I am now following. For instance I found DIY Taraism and it's just fun!
I have many more and I will be sure to tell you about them...but I think 11 is enough for one day. Be sure to follow if you enjoy their writing as I did.

Hugs and blessings to all tonight.

Will blog about Ireland soon...can't wait to share the photos!

A hunt for color in the land of the gray? No Problem!

I found Ireland to be a bit gray . . . when you looked up and leaned over to the side, hanging onto the railing with your toes. Other than that - I found Ireland to be full of color, love and passion. A passionate country my Great Grandfather left in 1886.


I went to visit, got there and wondered why on earth he ever left this amazing land. The people are magnificent. The country is beautiful and rich with color. The food is okay...but the food is cooked with a passion often missed. The trains were a mixture of passion poured through a seive, sprinkled with warmth of a hug.


It's a land I cried when I left, and will celebrate when I return. It's the land that stole my soul. My sweet Ireland I will return.

I went knowing I had a photo scavenger hunt/swap of sorts to complete. So, I went with colors in mind.


1. Red is such a key color in marketing and decor in business now. It's hard to miss. Here in the Frankfurt airport the color is splashed throughout the eating areas.

2. Is a little orange beauty that was growing right outside my friend's home near Dublin, Ireland.

3. The handlebars on the Green Touring bus in Dublin are BRIGHT yellow. Loved it.

4. I LOVED that the post boxes were green. At least the ones I saw were.

5. This little blue Molly was in several places throughout Dublin. I spotted her on a second story window as well.

6. The purple gummy postbox was too cute. I spoted it in a bag of Roundtree's Randoms which are a variety of gummy candies, and quite yummy!

7. The pink flowers were growing inside the Trim Castle in Trim, Ireland

8. The doors of Dublin are known world wide. However, you don't really see many brown ones, so I really loved this one. It was one of my favorite doors.

9. The street art is just as popular in Dublin as it is in other places in the world. It's not as bad as it is in Germany. So, I appreciated the art I saw here. These little black robots were wonderful, and only in a few places.

10. Finally, the churches/cathederals are sprinkled all over Dublin and Ireland. Although I'm not Christian I do love churches and all the beauty that goes into decorating them. The candles represent such a sense of peace and love for me. The white of the candles and the flames always make me hope that someday all religions will learn to coexist!

I loved photo scavenger hunts. This one allowed me to use my own passion for photography as an art and think way outside of the box.

If you'd like to see them individually check out my Flickr. If you liked, or didn't like, the images let me know by leaving a comment.

Have a great day!