Monday, August 3, 2009

Single Life - it isn't so bad, is it?

I'm a 43 year old single woman. I raised my daughter mostly on my own.
Yes, my folks were there for us and I had a common-law (CL) husband for about five years. The rest of her 21 years have been on our own. I'd say it w as about 75% alone. I never minded it, not for a moment. If I had any kind of thought that I would not have been able to be a good mom to my daughter. I would not have: 1. become pregnant, or 2. kept the baby. (Yes, this does mean I'm pro-choice.) So, this is about me, not about being a single mom, that's a whole other blog session. ;0)

I am an attractive, albeit voluptuous, 43 year old single woman. I've
not had even had a date in over 13 years; since my CL husband committed suicide in 1996. My priority until 2006 was raising my daughter and getting her out of high school and into college. Well, she's done that quite well. So, it's time for me to shift some of the time back onto myself, right? Not really. See, I still have to get her through college. She's got two and a half years left. She spent a half a year working as an intern for the Walt Disney Company in Florida. Then, by the time she got back home she couldn't register for school because it was too late. When the next semester came around my job was moving. So, we moved, and then two months later moved back. (Again, that's another blog.) Now, she's back in school full time this semester, she should graduate with an AA May 2010. She'll move on for her BA at one of the four year universities here in our area. Okay, so back to me right? Well, I'm finishing my AA, finally after 26 years. I do work full time, and I'm one of the lucky ones - I love my job and the people I work with and for right now.

However, this doesn't leave a lot of time to date, well maybe it does.
But, I can't seem to find a man. I'll get down on myself and think -
"hey, it's 'cause you're fat." Then, I look around and realize, no
that's not it. It's then I hear my Grandparents telling me "you'll meet him when you aren't looking /or/ least expect it." Well, I've not been "looking" or been "expecting it" for years now. No, I haven't stooped to looking under rocks, or in bars.

I'm outside and quite active for my fatty size. That's about the time I hear my daughter, and friends tell me that I'm too down on myself. Well, just because I'm REAL about being fat, does not mean I am down on myself. Do I have body issues, sure...again another blog. I do love to hike, I love to do touristy stuff downtown San Antonio - often, and I love riding rides - like Superman and other roller coasters. I have a type A personality stuck beneath the layers. Which reminds me of a
comment a co-worker said to me a couple of weeks ago, when I showed him a photo of me back when I was 17, or 18. He said "damn, you were HOT!" Ah, that little four letter word - WERE, it's a tough word to hear. I smiled and told him, I know, but I didn't know then, which is really too bad. Well, I'm still "hot," it's just that now the hot 'little' girl is inside me, and the woman 'outside' with more knowledge and love is what the world sees.

Right about that time I begin to see the new show "Drop Dead Diva." I
can relate to it so well. See, my skinny girl didn't have to die,
literally, but figuratively. She is still in me, looking me up and down in the mirror the way all you skinny girls still do me now. Funny thing is, I will catch myself doing it to them and not thinking "OMG look how fat she is," but I catch myself thinking "does she realize how beautiful she is now, and does she truly love who she is?" I become sad for the skinny girls that don't get it. I get it, I really do.

So, back to the point - why am I still single? There are men out there
that like big women. They also come in all shapes and sizes. So, where
are they? What do I have to do to find them?

I've often thought of starting a website for big beautiful people in
Texas. We're still beautiful, and have a lot to offer a relationship,
besides the numbers on a scale. Shoot, most of us know how to cook – and NOT burn the stuff we're making. We know how to laugh and mean it. We also know how to love someone without looking down on the other person. It doesn't have to be a hetro thing, mine would be, but not all big girls, or boys are hetro and that's cool. I'm a fan of all walks of life. I don't judge on who you love. That's up to you. Everyone knows what's right for them.

So, if you're between the ages of 38 to 50 and you're single, you're not afraid of a woman with some meat on her bones. You can handle being outside and walking around, or in a park riding rides, or traveling to just that one spot to get just that right photo at just the right moment. Then, shoot me an email.

Website for us lovely big and beautiful people...I will seriously this about it. It's worth trying.

No comments: