Everybody look what's going down...

Stop! What's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down.


I recently had an old friend tell me she has an issue with my beliefs.
It caught me off guard and angered me. When I was a Christian I never
had a problem with someone else's religion or beliefs. Does that make me
a better person? No, I don't think so, but I do believe it makes me a
more loving person. I never had a problem with someone's sexual
orientation, or the color of their skin. I will admit that I've had
problems with people's attitudes, arrogance, stupidity, ignorance, and
their bigotry. I've always, I do mean always, felt the reason I am here
on this earth is to spread LOVE.


I'm not talking about being easy, or sexually promiscuous. I'm talking
about loving everyone, the way God and Goddess have told us to. It's
really not hard to love others. All you have to do is drop your guard,
and love someone without conditions. You know that thing called
"unconditional love." This does not mean that you must believe in what
they do, or want to live the lifestyle they live. It does mean that you
love them for who they are.


For instance, one of my friends recently told me that they don't stand
up for the national anthem, or say the pledge of allegiance. Did I get
pissed off - hell yes! However, I maintained my composure and listened
to what they had to say about why they didn't do it. Then, I remembered
that is their unalienable right to do just that as an American. A few
years ago I probably would have told this person to get out of America
then, but I truly believe that we have these rights to protect all of
us, not just a chosen handful. This is also why I have the right to
believe the way I do. I'm not asking for anyone to accept or believe in
my path. This is right for me. I don't force or convert others to
believe in my beliefs. I never will - again.


When I was a Christian I believed what the preachers told me, that I had
to go out and "spread the word." Well, I don't anymore. My eyes were
opened when I took an Art History class and found out that Christians
are the ones that have primarily gone into areas and demolished other's
religious icons, places of worship, and lives in general. This saddened
me to know that I had been a part of something that was so arrogant and
cruel. I had just been focusing on the man that I worshipped, and not
the people that followed him as well.


So, now I focus on loving and being there for others, and all the other
stuff I was taught. I don't consider myself a Christian anymore. I don't
want to be associated with the followers of that religion. I think the
lessons are wonderful and you can be a good person, but for the most
part "Christians" think their way is the only way, and if you don't
follow the path they think you should then you're not living right. It's
sad really, I know it makes me sad.


So, I'll keep on loving the world and trying to make it a better place
for all...the way God has taught me to, not man!

Sea Bound Trash Zone?!?

Maybe I'm really behind on my news. I've just recently become interested
again in that subject. It used to annoy me. Know that my interest had
nothing to do with the Presidential elections, or the cost of
unemployment, or even the war. No, it had to do with America in general.
When did we become such a nasty country? For instance did you know that
the Pacific Ocean has an area where we throw garbage? I didn't. I'm
sickened by this fact.
Sea bound trash



So, our landfills are full? So, we have to start throwing garbage away
in the ocean? No! Given the fact that we barely occupy 35% of the land
in this country, quite frankly disgusts me to know that we're doing this
sea bound dumping. No, I'm not for filling up the land with garbage.
However, we do have this little know idea called recycling. Maybe we
should ALL start doing it. How hard is it to separate your garbage as
you put it into the bin? Buy one of those garbage cans that have three
bins, or have three bags or buckets. You know the ones your kids used to
use, but now are filled with toys they haven't touched in years. Try
putting your garbage in those. Then, take them, if you don't have
recycling in your city, to the recycling place.


Did you know that you get money, cash (mullah, deniro, cha-ching) back
when you recycle? Okay, you won't get rich on it (although some have).
The simple fact that we're throwing stuff into the ocean is completely
disgusting. When did this become legal? Good grief! There are creatures
out there that we have no clue about, and we're probably killing them
now.


So, come on people, either cut down on the waste, or recycle. You know
that heat you've been bitching about? Well, it's due to the fact that
we're killing our planet. So, take a moment, and if you don't care about
anyone other than little 'ole you, then okay. Care to be cooler? Then
take care of the planet that you live on. Hey, the idea of living and
trashing the atmosphere of another planet is a long time away.

Single Life - it isn't so bad, is it?

I'm a 43 year old single woman. I raised my daughter mostly on my own.
Yes, my folks were there for us and I had a common-law (CL) husband for about five years. The rest of her 21 years have been on our own. I'd say it w as about 75% alone. I never minded it, not for a moment. If I had any kind of thought that I would not have been able to be a good mom to my daughter. I would not have: 1. become pregnant, or 2. kept the baby. (Yes, this does mean I'm pro-choice.) So, this is about me, not about being a single mom, that's a whole other blog session. ;0)


I am an attractive, albeit voluptuous, 43 year old single woman. I've
not had even had a date in over 13 years; since my CL husband committed suicide in 1996. My priority until 2006 was raising my daughter and getting her out of high school and into college. Well, she's done that quite well. So, it's time for me to shift some of the time back onto myself, right? Not really. See, I still have to get her through college. She's got two and a half years left. She spent a half a year working as an intern for the Walt Disney Company in Florida. Then, by the time she got back home she couldn't register for school because it was too late. When the next semester came around my job was moving. So, we moved, and then two months later moved back. (Again, that's another blog.) Now, she's back in school full time this semester, she should graduate with an AA May 2010. She'll move on for her BA at one of the four year universities here in our area. Okay, so back to me right? Well, I'm finishing my AA, finally after 26 years. I do work full time, and I'm one of the lucky ones - I love my job and the people I work with and for right now.


However, this doesn't leave a lot of time to date, well maybe it does.
But, I can't seem to find a man. I'll get down on myself and think -
"hey, it's 'cause you're fat." Then, I look around and realize, no
that's not it. It's then I hear my Grandparents telling me "you'll meet him when you aren't looking /or/ least expect it." Well, I've not been "looking" or been "expecting it" for years now. No, I haven't stooped to looking under rocks, or in bars.


I'm outside and quite active for my fatty size. That's about the time I hear my daughter, and friends tell me that I'm too down on myself. Well, just because I'm REAL about being fat, does not mean I am down on myself. Do I have body issues, sure...again another blog. I do love to hike, I love to do touristy stuff downtown San Antonio - often, and I love riding rides - like Superman and other roller coasters. I have a type A personality stuck beneath the layers. Which reminds me of a
comment a co-worker said to me a couple of weeks ago, when I showed him a photo of me back when I was 17, or 18. He said "damn, you were HOT!" Ah, that little four letter word - WERE, it's a tough word to hear. I smiled and told him, I know, but I didn't know then, which is really too bad. Well, I'm still "hot," it's just that now the hot 'little' girl is inside me, and the woman 'outside' with more knowledge and love is what the world sees.


Right about that time I begin to see the new show "Drop Dead Diva." I
can relate to it so well. See, my skinny girl didn't have to die,
literally, but figuratively. She is still in me, looking me up and down in the mirror the way all you skinny girls still do me now. Funny thing is, I will catch myself doing it to them and not thinking "OMG look how fat she is," but I catch myself thinking "does she realize how beautiful she is now, and does she truly love who she is?" I become sad for the skinny girls that don't get it. I get it, I really do.


So, back to the point - why am I still single? There are men out there
that like big women. They also come in all shapes and sizes. So, where
are they? What do I have to do to find them?


I've often thought of starting a website for big beautiful people in
Texas. We're still beautiful, and have a lot to offer a relationship,
besides the numbers on a scale. Shoot, most of us know how to cook – and NOT burn the stuff we're making. We know how to laugh and mean it. We also know how to love someone without looking down on the other person. It doesn't have to be a hetro thing, mine would be, but not all big girls, or boys are hetro and that's cool. I'm a fan of all walks of life. I don't judge on who you love. That's up to you. Everyone knows what's right for them.


So, if you're between the ages of 38 to 50 and you're single, you're not afraid of a woman with some meat on her bones. You can handle being outside and walking around, or in a park riding rides, or traveling to just that one spot to get just that right photo at just the right moment. Then, shoot me an email.


Website for us lovely big and beautiful people...I will seriously this about it. It's worth trying.