Live is all about learning, growing, changing, and of course loving.

I have so much I want to say about changing and learning to live. I'll just tell you this - it's time for me to live my life. I'm going to start after 45 years.

I have had some incredible days lately. I am so thankful for those in my life, especially my daughter Ashlee. She means the world to me. She is the ONE person on this earth that truly worries about how I feel. I know she won't be in my house much longer, so I treasure the time we have now.

Life will continue to change, grow, and some will be left out or left behind. I am happy they were in my life for the time they were there. Some of these people are even family, the blood kind. However, when it's toxic - some of it must be dumped forever. So, that's a choice I've made recently - I'm getting rid of the toxic and only keeping the good around me. I can't take the hurt and meanness any longer. So, good bye to the hurtful ones.

I'm happy. I'm finally allowing myself to receive love, and to love myself. So, thank you for being part of my life.

Healthy Lifestyle

When someone goes on a DIET they start to get depressed, or hate that they can't have something to eat. Well, I took that four letter word out of my vocabularly years ago. I swore I'd never go on a diet. I never have, and don't ever want to. However, I have recently made a major lifestyle change.

I've began exercising, and *GASP* I actually enjoy it. I played catch and soccer with friends this past weekend, and this coming weekend I'm going to a festival (i.e. lots of walking) with some other friends. I love how I'm feeling, am looking forward to continuing this feeling, and the best part is I'm exploring cookbooks and websites to make new things. Ashlee has been wonderful about helping me stay on track. My friend at work has also changed her lifestyle and is eating healthy, and exercising as well. The two of them have really been helping me stay on track, want to work out, and eat healthier. My friend, Livy, just moved to Germany in January - she has been the biggest support and reason I've gone back to vegetarianism, and a much healthy lifestyle. She's encouraged me with her various and delicious food endeavors since she's moved here. Her passion for life goes into her food, and all that she touches. Ashlee and I went to visit her and her family last month. While there she made us dinner, it was magnificent and simple. Right then I realized that great food does not have to be such a pain in the ass to make.

I, now, realize I have choices when I eat and I encourage myself find recipes with lots of veggies. The main choice I've made is to go back to my vegetarian lifesytle. I truly enjoyed it, minus the lack of pork. (I'm sorry, I love pork!) HAHA

I have enjoyed being in Germany and getting to discover new vegetables. So much here is healthy. One of my favorite things on Saturday is to go to the markets and get fresh veggies for the week. I get them home and chop them up, put them in the fridge and freezer to use. I've also discovered a few new cheeses, and lots of wonderful places to explore.

The photo here was our dinner that I made from a cookbook from my friend at work. Her daughter was going through it and told her there were many recipes I'd really enjoy, she was right! It's the Cooking Light Five Star Recipes cookbook that they invited me to look through. This is where found the delicious dinner pictured here.

It's Tortellini with Cherry Tomatoes and Corn. Now, I made some changes to the recipe for me. I like lots of veggies, but especially peppers and I love to put my own twist on things I discover.

If you'd like to try the recipe here it is right from the book. I'll add my additions/substitution on the bottom.

Tortellini with Cherry Tomatoes and Corn

(Quick and easy - great for a dinner if your short on time, but want something filling and low on calories.)

1 - 9 oz package fresh cheese tortellini, uncooked (see my changes)

1 - 10oz package frozen whole kernel corn

1 clove garlic, halved

2 Cups quartered cherry tomatoes (see my changes)

1/4 C sliced green onions

1/4 C chopped fresh basil (see my changes)

2 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese (see my changes)

1 teaspoon olive oil

1/8 teaspoon pepper

Cook tortellini in boiling water 3 minutes, omitting salt and fat requested to cook with on the package. (Thankfully my tortellini was in German so I didn't know I needed to add that...hahaha) Add corn, and cook 3 minutes, drain well.

Rub the inside of a large serving bowl with garlet halves, and discard garlic halves. Add tortellini mixture, tomato quarters, and remaining ingredients, tossing gently to coat.

Serve warm. Yield: 6 servings, 1 cup sized servings.

When I made mine it only came out to 4 - 1 cup servings. I had smaller packages of food to start.

I used a ham and cheese tortellini, half a bag of frozen corn, instead of basil (which I detest) I used cilantro (which I LOVE - maybe it's my Texan heritage). I used a hard cheese I had on hand instead of the Parmesan cheese; I used both yellow and red cherry tomatoes. I also added an orange pepper for color and flavor.

I hope you'll give this great delicious simple recipe a try soon. It's delicious! My dinner included some freshly steamed broccolli and a glass of water. Now, I stated that you shouldn't deny yourself anything when making lifestyle changes - so, I didn't. I made a fresh batch of delicious brownies for dessert - and enjoyed one. It's all about limiting what I used to eat. For two weeks I have been craving and denying myself a brownie, but tonight I made someand enjoyed one.

I look forward to the rest of my life - a healthier, happier and more energetic life.

I wonder if I would have made these changes if I were still back home?

Blessings of healthy eating and much love to you and yours.

Furlough

Bicycles outside the Berkeley Library in Dublin, Ireland (August 2010)

"Bicycle there!" That's what she said to me when I said "I'm in Europe, maybe going on furlough; how am I supposed to travel?" I laughed. Then, I seriously thought about it, and I began to wonder how long would it take to walk to Italy? LOL From Germany to Italy? I'm sure people have done it way before my time. I mean they had no choice, right? They didn't have the luxuries of a bicycle, much less a car. Could I do it? No! Not in the shape I'm in, there's no way. However, does that mean I'll never do it - probably, but that does not mean it's because I won't always be in shape. I'm getting into shape. I'll be riding my bicycle this weekend with my daughter. We're very excited about it all.

Gas prices are high, the dollar is very low in this European economy, and quite frankly I can't afford to go anywhere if the ignorant government back home can't figure out how to play nice with one another and find a fix for the mess Bush got us into. So, as Congress decides whether they want to screw the Troops and all the Federal employees even more, I await their fix for the huge budget problems we face back home in America. If they decide to put the government on hold, I'll be at home, creating up a storm by painting, gluing and making lots of stuff. I'll be working on my HUGE photography drive and maybe even sell some work. Who knows? Maybe this fix the government is in will help me become self sufficient and self employed with the one bit of "work" I truly love - photography.

So, my co-worker was right - I'll bicycle there, and there and oh maybe over there as well. Life is about choices and decisions - I choose happiness, and my decision will be to do the best I can do.

Peace, Zen, Tranquility, Happiness

(This little guy to the left is a two toed sloth from the Heidelberg Zoo. He helped me find my happiness again.)

Call it what you may, even call it slothness - bottom line in life we must be happy with who we are, be happy in our own skin so to speak. After all we are with ourselves 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, every year of our lives. We need - NO we MUST be happy with ourselves. So, darn it let's sit down with ourselves everyday and work on it.

I went to the zoo yesterday. It was the first time I went to the zoo in about three years. The last time I went was back home in Texas. I loved that zoo there, but the zoo here was so peaceful. I know all zoos are meant to be peaceful, but this one has it right.

As I walked around and looked at the birds, big cats, bears, primates in their eyes, the more I realized that I put myself into restrictive areas in life. With each animal I spent time looking into their eyes. It was weird that you can actually do that here. I got right next to a chimpanzee, and a two toed sloth climbed above my head. Literally above my head. If I had inched up even a bit I would have touched it. However, I realized that I can take myself out of those areas on my own as well. It's my choice.

I will tell you that close to one of my all time favorite animals completely made my day. I can not tell you how happy it made me, but I can tell you I literally "SQUEED" when I saw the two of them. One was quite active, the other was - well a sloth. LOL This made me realize that you can be a "sloth" and still be happy - as long as you're being true to you, and to who you are. This wonderful creature is considered by the christian faith to be one that is lazy. I watched this creature take it's time going around it's area. The entire time looking carefully for what I was searching. It was not lazy at all. It was inquisitive, clear in it's endeavor and sought out what I wanted. It was one more christian story I can put out of my memory. Sometimes we're taught wrong. It's up to us to clear it up and re-educate ourselves and learn from life. Well, this sloth taught me that, it taught me to be clear on what I want when I go out searching.

So, as I embark on a whole new week I will do my best to remember that it's up to me to be happy, and that I deserve to be happy. I hope you have a great week too. Do something each day that will make you happy. Wear that scent you love so much; go have that lunch you really enjoy; call the person that makes you giggle like you did when you were nine; go hug someone and make their day - sometimes making someone else happy is what makes us the happiest.

Fool's Day

Happy April first all!

Today seems to be a day where I get to meet all of the fool's, or am I the fool?

It appears all I come into contact with today have been nothing but arrogant or rude to me.

It began with a co-worker coming into my office and stating he was surprised to see me today, as he "thought you [me] would be off committing suicide." I looked at him, refraining from wanting to get up and punch the shit out of him. I looked at him and stated:"You are aware my husband committed suicide, right?" Without blinking he said "I didn't know you were ever married." My come back was: "Well, he was only my common-law husband, but I did consider him my husband." His reply: "Oh, yeah. I forgot you Texas people, (um, that would be 'Texans'), do that - you have 'common-law' spouses."

I felt like saying yes...it's kind of like a trial marriage this way we don't HAVE to get a divorce. (In reality I KNOW you do...but as long as you don't have any accounts or things you've purchased you can just walk away.) Unlike this complete jackass who has been married, I believe I've been told, four times. WOW! Really? No, I was committed to only one man. He died. I've not dated since. I miss him every day of my life. However, being around men like this jackass makes me remember why I do not want a man in my life. He, along with men in my own family cause me feel as if I do not want men in my life. They tend to be ugly to me, and hurt me, treat me as if I'm below them, or I'm unworthy of respect. I don't need that shit.

So, this is how my day began at work. I can tell you that it only went downhill from here - right into the sewage pipe - where I seem to be stuck.

NOW - stating that, I will also state that it is up to ME whether I get over this crappy day, or stay stuck in the pipe of crap. Maybe, this is Karma's way of pulling a really BAD April Fool's Day joke on me and my life.

Well, it can only get better from here on out, because I choose not to allow this ruin the evening I'll have with my best friend.

I choose to ignore the ignorance.
I choose to reflect the ugliness that has been dished upon me - back onto those that dish it out.
I choose to be happy.
I choose to be positive.
I choose to be loving.
I choose ME, because I deserve to be happy, loved and positive.

So, I hope your April first is a GREAT day and free of ignorance.

Thank you for reading today. I promise I'll get back to my crafts and being upbeat and positive.

Please, continue with your regularly scheduled broadcast.